I’VE BEEN MARRIED AND DIVORCED 3X, I HAVE NO ADVICE FOR YOU” BUT A “MOOD RING MIGHT SAVE YOU SOME MISERY !<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/a>Just how many<\/strong> bachelor’s have\u00a0PartyDancersUSA sent to their deaths? Well, not literally to their deaths, let’s change that description to “a long walk on a short pier” \ud83d\ude42\u00a0 I’ll admit to\u00a0have entered into this what I best describe as a\u00a0“stand-offish union” three separate times with no good results. Now with that said<\/strong>, I’m not dead set against marriage, it’s my job to bring the down side along with me for each\u00a0bachelor party I do, you know some “tongue in cheek”, a little “dark humor” and first hand experience I like to share from my married days that many of the guys in attendance can relate to in one way or another. Do\u00a0I\/we disrespect<\/strong> marriage as a whole… “absolutely not”.\u00a0It’s all kept in good fun and good taste.<\/p>\n <\/a>Let me explain…<\/strong> \u00a0a bachelor party is\u00a0meant to be bodacious, risqu\u00e9 with much drinking, laughing with friends and a time to remember. A rite of passage. Life is changing, some friends like the idea because now you’ll join the club, others don’t understand and feel abandoned, you’re going away. Not really going away<\/strong> but now you have someone who means the world too you. Friday nights are over, the herd is thinning out.<\/p>\n Ok, so much<\/strong> for the crying, let me lend some advice. I’ll admit I’m someone who probably shouldn’t be giving pointers on marriage but I do know a few things and some preventive measures to make sure you DON’T marry the wrong woman this time or anytime.<\/p>\n After the demise<\/strong> of my third marriage which lasted all of “13” days ( perfect number huh? ) before I realized I had made a terrible mistake and hightailed it never to look back I decided right then that this debacle would not happen again! Some 20 years later<\/strong> I found myself being pressured once again to “get married”, 20 years of being single and loving it I hadn’t even considered putting myself through hell again. I just know<\/strong> I’m not lucky in love so leave it alone.<\/p>\n <\/a>So… after 3 years<\/strong> of this certain lady pushing\u00a0this bitter pill down this throat I came up with a sure-fire test just to confirm what I already knew “she wasn’t anyone I would marry, hell I don’t think I really liked her that much”. With that I hatched<\/strong> my plan, I headed over to “Days Jewelers” looking for the “perfect gift” which also would double as the last test! I looked and looked<\/strong> and finally asked the jeweler, I did feel a little stupid<\/strong> asking for a “MOOD RING” but to my surprise they actually had a line of semi expensive “Mood Rings”!\u00a0Who would have thunk it?<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/a>For those of you<\/strong> who don’t know what a “mood ring” is or what it does. A “mood ring” was a big item<\/strong> in the “1970’s” which everybody had to have one like these days everyone wants a iPod. But the “mood ring”<\/strong> has a special gift it can show you if the person wearing it has a warm heart when your around. Well I’m not exactly sure<\/strong> it can do this BUT it will show you if the person wearing it has good circulation. Either way if you want<\/strong> to play hocus pocus on someone who also believes in Ouija Boards and your pretty positive is just using you for a\u00a0meal ticket\u00a0it comes in handy pissing them off.<\/p>\n With the gift in hand<\/strong> I found the right moment and present my princess with her “precious ring”, \u00a0yes I know she was expecting something much more extravagant, looked at me like I was crazy as hell and almost threw it at me but I immediately went into selling mode explaining to her about\u00a0this “beautiful mood ring” and how it would look so gorgeous on her finger. SHE BOUGHT IT \ud83d\ude09<\/strong><\/p>\n I paid strict attention<\/strong> when she slipped it on, I mean it was plain as day that this mood gauge had immediately turned “BLACK”! Black as night, black as the coldest heart, I mean black! She noticed it too<\/strong> and made some comment about it needed to warm up or something. Take it from me, it “NEVER”<\/strong> warmed up, in fact it stayed black 24\/7 for 3 weeks. I made sarcastic comments<\/strong> from time to time about the ring, its color and jokes she didn’t find one bit funny. The last day she had the ring we were riding on the interstate and I pointed out the color (which was black as always), she got pissed and claimed the ring was defective, pulled it off and was looking at it closely when I asked her to put it on my small finger, She did and it immediately turned “BLUE”!<\/strong><\/p>\nYOUR GETTING MARRIED BUT HAVE YOU TRIED THIS TEST FIRST ?<\/h2>\n
SO YOUR GETTING MARRIED THAT’S THE FUN PART, THE MARRAIGE IS THE TEST<\/h3>\n
IF YOUR GETTING MARRIED BETTER YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE RING\u00a0COLORS !<\/h4>\n