Mercury & Doorknobs | ME. Strippers Blog
Back in “1999″. Not the song but the actually year. PartyDancersUSA booked a weekly Saturday night show at the “Mooses Breath Saloon”, Greenville Junction, ME. This at the site of the former “Road Kill Café” which mysteriously caught fire and was replaced by the owners. When finished it was named the “Mooses Breath Saloon”. Site of a well known incident affectionally known here as “Mercury Loves Doorknobs”. Let me continue.
Besides the cantankerous owner “Bobby” who most of all hated loud music. And probably your host here as well (he liked the dancers though) for playing loud rock music constantly during the shows. PartyDancersUSA at this time had a rather large dance crew consisting of new recruits, a few veterans, a couple of former agency dancers and of course the dancing problems so to speak.
One particular Saturday night during hunting season when the building was packed and I was preparing to start the show when our lead dancer motions to me to come here. I couldn’t go right that second so she returned to the dressing room and I soon followed.
I’ve been “Summoned To The Dressing Room” (a very small empty room next to the entry way). And to simply get a mirror installed for our dancers required an act of congress right Bobby? That damn mirror, I never heard the end of this all season long. Can’t say I blame them. And we never got a mirror BTW.
I’m going to see what’s the ish. Knocking the code knock because it’s always locked. Funny, no one’s answering? I attempt to open the door but couldn’t. Ok now I’m confused so I listen through the door and hear Raine (lead dancer) screaming at one of the dancers to “get away from the door”, “cut that shit out” and “what’s the matter with you girl”?
Then someone responds (later I find out its Mercury) to Raine (in a muffled voice) and last a “LOUD THUMP“. Later I come to find out it’s a body falling to the floor. WTF? Right then my attention is diverted to Bobby about the music being too loud yet again! He doesn’t care about dressing room drama does he. I grumpily walked over and turned it down. I then returned to the dressing room door. Ok 10 more seconds of code knocking and finally the damn door opens. I look to see Raine and every dancer in there with this mortified expression on their faces. Not one person is saying a single word. Their all just staring at Mercury and Raine.
So I asks “What’s going on in here”? Raine looks around at everyone and proceeds to tell me plain as day that “Mercury was fucking the doorknob”! UM WHAT? Raine continues on “When you tried to come in a few minutes ago well, Mercury had the doorknob in a chokehold so to speak”. “Following the ride she fell to the floor and finished masturbating in front of the entire crew”. “Yup, that’s what just happened boss”. “And she never missed a beat”.
SAY WHAT? Looking at Mercury I ask… “What the hell are you doing Mercury”? Without hesitation she answers “I can’t help it, I get so horny before every show and have to well, masturbate“. “Sonny, I have to”. I just looked at her puzzled. I couldn’t believe this was the issue at hand tonight. Most nights there’s something or other but never quite so bizarre. I look around the room at all the dancers and they’ve got dumbfounded looks on their faces.
Searching for words all I can think to say is “MERCURY, CUT THAT SHIT OUT”! Reaching for the doorknob as I leave the dressing room and as I grab it I notice that the doorknob is wet, slippery and all lubed up. REALLY? Looking at my hand then looked at everyone, some are smiling, some look grossed out. I leave the room and head for the bar with this I can’t believe this just happened” look on my face. I ask the bar keep “Can I get a clean rag please“?
Mercury was extremely beautiful and highly skilled. She was a fun and a extremely nice person all the way around but I’ll never forget the time Mercury just a serious as can be tells me “I can’t help it, I get horny before every show“. What can you say to that?
