This Time Trailer Trash Miss The Mark in Friendship, Maine

Working many years as a bouncer here at PartyDancersUSA has its many moments. Now just because you live in a trailer doesn’t mean your considered trash. Not at all. But these folks living in this one trailer in Friendship, Maine single handily coined the term “trailer trash”.

After almost 19 years working year after year providing dancers to parties let’s just say a couple of those parties got a “little out of hand”. A few more smelled like they may turn sour but luckily turned into great shows. Usually if there’s a problem it’s due to one unhappy crank who simply has had too much fun and thinks for at least for a second he wants to chance a beating. How’s that you ask ? Well by doing something completely outrageous of course.  And this correction could come from the bouncer (usually only in extreme cases) or in most cases that correction comes from his own friends who’ve had enough of him ruining their fun !

Most of these parties can be almost as much fun for the bouncer as they are for the guests. Then you have the “When are we getting the fuck out of here parties” ! This one in particular party took place in a trailer in Friendship, Maine in 2006. The trailer itself not so bad as far as trailers go but the guys, a couple of the guys could pass as poster children for “trailer trash”. You don’t get a “background check” when someone calls for a booking… so you prepare for anything and this night anything is what I got.

First of all some of you are probably thinking doing a party in a trailer in Friendship, Maine  is a recipe for trouble. I want to state a few of the best PartyDancersUSA parties I’ve done have taken place in trailers. Let me explain…  I’ve done parties in 10 million dollar homes. And believe me a flashy mansion doesn’t guarantee a good payday. Then again I’ve done shows in trailers, camps and garages where the party goers are great fun and will spend their “weekly lunch money” to have the time of their lives. You never really know.

Back to the story… this party started off bad from the get-go due to a one dancer not showing up for this two dancer booking and without any time left to call in a replacement off we go. We’ll make do, “Heaven” is a top-notch entertainer so we’re good. Once there on this freezing cold night I went in first (as always for safety) to check out the place and explain our show to which everybody was fine with or at least I thought so.

Always Make Sure Your Local Trailer Trash Miss The Mark !

Set-up is good, party is at best “ok” with no major problems (They honestly couldn’t have supported 2 dancers but we still smile as is our job to do) and now it’s time to pick up. Heaven has her travel bag ready standing 10 feet away making small talk with the customers, nothing seems strange but that’s gonna change real quick just hang on….

In retrospect I did remember (after beating my brain the next day) moving some items off the counter space when I set-up for the show. In particular an iron ( I remember thinking “Why would these knobs need an iron”? ) that I moved to counter space behind me. Ok I got all the equipment bagged up except the sound system which at the time was a Fender 250 and when latched together makes a great portable unit weighing 50 lbs and easy to carry.

All the while I’m picking up I’m answering questions, smiling and making small talk with these guys, this one in particular (the biggest and loudest) was standing to my immediate left, another was standing directly in front about 10 feet away, one more over the sink bar with Heaven standing between them. I’m explaining how this Fender unit is cool to use, demonstrating how it snaps together then when I went to snap the last speaker into place I was bent over the back of my head exposed. Fortunately my “6th sense kicked in” and I made it a point to latch this unit together in record time because when I went to stand up I got “SLAMMED” in the upper back directly between my shoulder blades !

Luckily This Night Trailer Trash Miss The Mark. Fuck You Assholes !

I turned left grabbing and locking up this prick’s arm thus blocking anymore of what just happened (which I was unclear about) and shouted “What the fuck was that” ? He barks back with now what I saw was a concerned strange look on his face “Just patting you on the back for a job well done” and continues with “It’s all good right” ? I’m not sure what just happened but I’m extremely clear and focused and “IT’S TIME TO GO” !

By the look on this dick’s face he was shocked I hadn’t collapsed from the force of the blow. His arm went rigid at first to resist then completely limp after I twisted it and he hadn’t moved even an inch since I snagged him. I barked for them to move and make a hole. I had a clear path to the door and instructed Heaven to head out all the while keeping one eye on dickhead #1 with that I grabbed my equipment and out the door we went straight to the truck. I put the dancer in first, lock her door while I take 15 seconds and throw everything into the storage area. Returning to the driver’s side door and quickly jump in and now I’m locked inside a new weapon… “THE TRUCK” !

Mr. Back Patter comes outside trying to make small talk (I believed he wanted to get close enough to attempt something but seemed unsure how to) to which I responded by putting the truck in reverse and away we go. Believe me… I wanted too jump out and stave, stave and stave this lowlife into a pile of shit but I still was unclear about what had happened but knew something had gone down and I have this dancer on board. Her safety comes first. After many years accessing situations I surmised it was time “TO GO” no questions asked.

I Ask Myself Why These Trailer Trash Miss The Mark ? Good Thing For that 6th Sense !

The next morning, stiff as a board and many Tylenol later I finally convince myself to ignore the pain and get up ! Ok… let’s see what’s causing this ! I pulled my t-shirt off and looked… nothing… turned to the left… couldn’t… turn to the right… what the fuck ? Right there between my shoulder blades about three inches down from my neck pointing straight up is the deep red imprint of what is unmistakably “AN IRON” ! Just then I realized this “prick” had tried to “TAKE ME OUT” and was I ever lucky to have stood up quickly after latching the Fender unit together.

What his thoughts were about why he did this I’ll never know and I honestly don’t care but did contemplate finding out, making a tactical trip to Friendship but in the end decided to “count myself extremely lucky” and to move on making sure this couldn’t and wouldn’t ever happen again.

I’ve waited many years to see this asshole again. I have a response too his gesture of “Patting me on the back with an iron” but I’ve never seen him again. Do I remember what he looks like ? Yes of course.

Come to find out he’s a jail-bird. And hopefully his fishermen friends will get tired of him and help him overboard. Did we find out who he is? Yes we did. Who knows? Maybe by now he’s back in prison eating state food and cuddling his boy bitch.

So you see most definitely being a bouncer in this business you earn your money. Since that very evening PartyDancersUSA changed operating policies dictating how many customers must be in attendance at every show and we won’t do offer one dancer shows under any circumstances. These policies have greatly increased safety at all shows and we recommend all agencies to adopt the same. Dancer safety is job one and here at PartyDancersUSA we have no dancer injuries to date in 20 years.

What this lowlife’s intentions were that scary night my dancer will never know because that dark cold evening in Friendship, Maine “Trailer Trash Miss The Mark”.