Mercury & Doorknobs | ME. Strippers Blog

A Night to Remember at Mooses Breath Saloon

Back in 1999, not the song, but the actual year. PartyDancersUSA began booking a weekly Saturday night show at The Mooses Breath Saloon in Greenville Junction, ME. This venue, located on the site of the former “Road Kill Café,” that had been mysteriously destroyed by fire before being rebuilt and renamed by the owners. It became the setting for a well-known incident we affectionately referred to as “Mercury Loves Doorknobs.” Stay tuned as I delve into the details of that memorable night.

Memorable Times at Moose’s Breath Saloon

Besides the cantankerous owner, Bobby Ifill who was no fan of loud music and not particularly fond of me, though he did appreciate the dancers. PartyDancersUSA was flourishing during this period. At the time, our dance crew was quite diverse, including new recruits, a few seasoned veterans, a couple of dancers from other agencies, and, naturally, a few ‘dancing problems’ that kept things interesting. My penchant for blasting loud rock music during the shows certainly didn’t help smooth things over with Bobby.

A Packed Night at Moose’s Breath Saloon

One particular Saturday during deer hunting season in Maine, The Moose’s Breath Saloon was buzzing with activity. Because PartyDancersUSA was just about to kick off another WildSide Show.  Our show at that time consisted of 8 dancers, starting with previews, introductions, tops off, oilings, lap dances, raffles and finally slow dances at the end of the show.  Just as I was about to start the show, our lead dancer “Raine” gestured urgently for me to come to where she was standing. Unable to break away at that very moment, I watched as she headed back to the dressing room. I followed shortly after, curious and slightly apprehensive about what had prompted her sudden need for my presence.

Summoned to the Dressing Room

I was quickly “Summoned to the Dressing Room” often. And at this particular venue, the dancers dressing room was a cramped, empty space next to the entryway without so much as a mirror. Yes, dancers need a mirror to get ready. And the issue at hand was simple yet seemingly monumental: our dancers needed a mirror installed. And what should have been an easy fix turned into an act of Congress. Right, Bobby? That darn mirror became the season long saga that I never heard the end of. Despite the constant discussions between myself, the dancers complaining and Bobby. We never did get that mirror, much to the frustration of all the dancers.

Dressing Room Drama

I approached the always locked dressing room door and knocked the code knock, but oddly, no one answered? Confused, I tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. I listening closely, I could hear Raine, our lead dancer, inside, her voice raised in anger. She was shouting at another dancer! “Get away from the door!” followed by, “Cut that shit out!” and “What’s the matter with you, girl?” The tension behind the door was palpable, and I knew something was seriously wrong.

Chaos Behind the Closed Door

After hearing the muffled response from another one of my dancers “Mercury” and a sudden loud thump? Later on, I would learn that sound was a body hitting the floor. I was momentarily distracted by Bobby, once again complaining about the music being too loud. Clearly, he had no concern for the unfolding drama in the dressing room. Annoyed, I went to turn down the music and then made my way back to the locked dressing room door.

After another 10 seconds of persistent code knocking, the door finally swung open. Inside, I was met with a tableau of shock from all the dancers inside that bare room. Raine and all the dancers stood looking at me with mortified expressions, silent and frozen. No one spoke a word; their eyes were all fixed on Mercury and Raine, the tension in the air almost tangible.

Unbelievable Dressing Room Drama

I took a deep breath and stepped into the tension filled dressing room. I asked, “What’s going on in here?” The room was eerily silent until Raine, taking a deep breath herself and glancing around at the still shocked faces, decided to explain.

Raine started to speak. “Well Sonny, see Mercury was… well, she was messing with the doorknob.” All the while Raine spoke, she kept shaking her head. Seeing my confusion, she continued, “When you tried to come in earlier, Mercury literally had the doorknob in a chokehold, so to speak.” Nobody else said a word, just quiet in that room.

Raine paused for a moment before adding, “After her… ride, she fell to the floor and continued… well, she finished off right here in front of everyone.” Raine concluded with a sigh, “Yup, that’s what just happened, boss. And she didn’t miss a beat.”

A Startling Confession

Stunned, I turned to Mercury and asked her directly, “What the hell are you doing?” And without missing a beat, she responded matter-of-factly, “I can’t help it, I get so horny before every show and have to… masturbate. Sonny, I just have to.”

I stood there, utterly puzzled, trying to process her blunt admission. This was not your typical pre-show issue. And one I had never encountered, until that night. Glancing around the room, I saw the other dancers were just as dumbfounded, their expressions a mix of disbelief and utter confusion.

An Unforgettable Exit

I was at a total loss for words, the only thing I could muster was a firm, “MERCURY, CUT THAT SHIT OUT!” As I turned to leave the dressing room, I reached for the doorknob and immediately realized it was wet, slippery, and evidently lubed up. Really? Are you joking me?

I stared at my hand in disbelief, then back at the group. Some were trying to stifle smiles, while others looked utterly grossed out. Shaking my head, I left the room and headed straight for the bar, my expression clearly broadcasting a “I can’t believe what just happened” and  I was questioning my line of work. I said to the bartender “Can I get a clean, dry rag, please?”

A Memorable Admission

Mercury was not only exceptionally beautiful and highly skilled Maine exotic dancer, but she was also genuinely fun and an incredibly kind person. Despite her professionalism, one moment remains vividly etched in my memory. That day, with the most utmost seriousness, Mercury confessed, “I can’t help it, I get horny before every show.” Myself, faced with such a candid admission, what can I say? I had come to realize that moment this was one of those instances that highlighted the unique challenges and unexpected moments of managing female exotic dancers. Get use to it!